Welcome to my head

Hi whoever decided to look at this. It’s been ages since I first started a blog during my final year of University, and I always reckoned I’d get back to it. A lot’s gone on since then- as we would say here in  Yorkshire, where grammar is a dead language. I had a hard time in said last year, some of which was most probably due to procrastinating, and a lack of self awareness, I always felt like something was wrong with me, I’d long ago been diagnosed with dyspraxia but never really had the help to understand what this means about me, beyond being a clumsy sod. My terrible sleeping habits can’t help either, my short- term memory is very defective.

I’ve joined and left a youth group, made lots of new friends, and steps toward finally getting a social life- oh yeah forgot to mention I’m often  practically a recluse. Before, I would probably have opened with that so I evidently made some progress. And of course I’ve made mistakes, and I don’t drink so I can’t fall on that excuse like many. I suppose I am a little autistic, maybe aspergers syndrome, but I can’t blame that either, if that’s a part of me then it’s still my fault. I struggle sometimes with the social world, and when I’m out, I  often feel sudden bouts of self-consciousness and self awareness, like I suddenly start thinking about where I am and the nature of things and trying to think about what led up to the present moment and I don’t feel like a participant in the things around me, as if I’m just watching what’s going on through a camera, but as I mentioned, my memory is flawed, so lots of things don’t seem to be recorded, or are misfiled. It can be very difficult to function like this and people often regard me as quiet and probably mentally retarded since when I do talk it tends to be slow and stuttered.

But, if you are prepared to put up with me, I can be a very wide ranging conversationalist, from Dickens to X-men, and on most kinds of film and music, and I try to be a good friend. I’m sorry I don’t know why this has turned into a lonely hearts ad, that keeps happening…

I’ve also changed my vocation from business and IT, which I ended my uni course with little confidence in, to writing. Not professionally just yet but I hope to be published sooner or later. I won’t discuss the stuff I’m working on just now, plagiurists are faster workers than I am, but I have more confidence in that than anything else I’ve ever done.

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6 thoughts on “Welcome to my head

    1. Thanks man, I actually joined a few months ago but I only just made a post, I have a bad habit of procrastinating. I meant to mention that but I didn’t get around to it! Your blog looks fascinating, I shall have to have a good look at that later!

      1. Welcome.

        I meant to ask that but I assumed it was another blog on another platform. How long have you had this blog? I thought you where new because it seemed like an introduction post. Thanks, man. I appreciate that. I’ve only been here for 2 months and been grateful for that blog’s success. It’s humbling!

      2. Oh yeah my old one was on blogger, just part of a uni assignment. I signed up for this about 2 or 3 months back and didn’t get around to doing anything so yeah it was an introduction. There are so many online social networks I tend to do far less than I intend, plus trying to learn to socialise offline as well, it’s tiring! Thanks for commenting, I’m more likely to keep it up if there is life out there…

  1. Hi Andrew. YAY to starting up this blog! I’ve never thought of you as mentally retarded, BTW, just as an anxious person like myself! I can relate to feeling as if you’re not a participant in things. Haha, my therapist called that ‘derealisation and depersonalisation’, but not everything needs a diagnonsense. Anyhoo, will keep checking in, and maybe I’ll get round to sorting out my own blog soon…

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