Here I go again

OK, it has been an age since I posted on here, and at the moment I’m wondering how I ever wrote anything at all. I tend to avoid talking about how I am, because in all honesty, I don’t know what is going on with me. My mind is so clouded I can never think straight, and I don’t even know how long I’ve been like this. I think it was like this when I went to University, and I always just tried to keep going, but I’m feeling like I’m never going to have a normal life. I’ve always had problems explaining to Doctors, even though I can converse quite well, yet when required to perform a test, I somehow manage to do it well if I don’t try to think about it. I’m aware I might be something of a hypochondriac but I feel like there is something wrong with me as well. I briefly had a proper job for the first time at the age of 30 but lost it before long because everything got on top of me, even though it shouldn’t have been that hard, and I couldn’t explain what the problem was. I’m drawing on a good support network but going back and forth with depression and anxiety. So that’s where I’m at, I’m trying to get back into writing, but my mood is often so low and my mind so mixed up I never know how it’ll turn out. Hopefully I can spark something going and somehow get beyond this.

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